The Onion's Funniest Stoner Headlines

The Onion has lampooned just about every type of person over the years, but there's one stereotype that consistently inspires some of the satirical paper's funniest headlines: The "Stoner."

WATCH: World's Oldest Person Celebrates 116th Birthday

The world's oldest person has 116 reasons to be happy today.

Jiroeman Kimura, a Japanese citizen who was declared to be the world's oldest living person in December, padded his record by another year when he celebrated the big 1-1-6 on April 19.

WATCH: Will We Bond With Bots?

We often think of robots as merely assembly-line tools meant for physical labor. But they're capable of much more than that: like companionship, and even love.

Will we come to depend on robots as a source of empathy? And will we welcome them everywhere, from the boardroom to the bedroom? Research scientist Dr. Leila Takayama studies human-robot interaction at robotics lab Willow Garage, and has seen our relationship with bots evolve.

Unbelievable Number Of Bees Swarm In Deadly Attack

A 6-year-old Rottweiler named Ricco was killed Thursday when a swarm of bees attacked the dog in a backyard in West Park, according to Broward Sheriff's Fire Rescue.
Owner Robert Denmark, 65, was washing his 80-pound dog in the yard behind his home in the 4900 block of Southwest 22nd Street when the bees emerged from a hive in a large tree in a neighbor's yard around 3 p.m.

Denver 4/20 Bringing Tight Security

DENVER -- As tens of thousands of people gather to celebrate and smoke marijuana in Denver, police will be out in full force.

NSFW: Vibrating Underwear For Phone Sex

Feel that tingle down there? It might be a long-distance call.

Condom-maker Durex has introduced app-controlled underwear that vibrates, the company announced in a YouTube video viewed more than 500,000 times since Wednesday. The promo (watch above) features a slightly naughty demonstration by an Australian couple remotely "touching" each other.

HEAD SCRATCHER: Models On Heidi Klum TV Show Catch Head Lice

The cast and crew of "Germany's Next Top Model," a German TV show starring Heidi Klum are scratching their heads trying to figure out how two of the aspiring models caught head lice.

The first model who caught the nasty nits was a 16-year-old contestant named Anna Maria, who, until the infestation, was favored to win the competition, according to

"No idea where they came from. I tried on a hat while shopping," she said on an episode that aired on Tuesday.

WATCH: Reporter Attacked By Hippie Panhandlers

Poor Stanley just can't catch a break.

San Francisco news reporter Stanley Roberts was assaulted by a group of panhandlers while filming a segment in Berkeley on Thursday.

Grooch: Rogue North Korean Leader Would be Comical if not so Dangerous (CARTOON)

Kim Jong-un, fearsome leader, or the new Dr.Evil?

I was perusing the television last night, and happened to watch a re-run of a Mike Myers classic, "Austin Powers".

That's when it hit me... Art is imitating life as we speak. Kim Jung-un reminds me of the character Dr.Evil - the torture of innocent civilians, testing nuclear weapons, odd behavior, hilarious self-serving propaganda, and the eminent threat of a global catastrophe.


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